Roadblocks

What do you do when you’re faced with challenges that are out of your control? In my case, I get a little anxious.

I was in Toronto for the past week and just came back to Montreal. It was such a good feeling to spend some time with one of my best friends, Aurélie. She had her own plans over the week and so I decided to make some too as to lighten her load a little. The thing about it though is that I’m still pretty noob about getting around Toronto on my own so it made me a tiny (okay, very) nervous at times. Had some real and figurative roadblocks along the way and inspired me to write a bit about my ways to cope when I get nervous and/or anxious about something.

1. Just breathe

Easier said than done, right?

When you’re confused, surprised, or maybe even frustrated with what’s happening in your life, your body and mind will want to react because of how you’re feeling. I’ve been told by many that I tend to hold my breath when I get surprised. I never noticed until someone had to point it out to me. It’s not an easy thing to do but when you actually think about it… it’s a pretty efficient, quick, and free way to calm your nerves. According to _______, it helps to take slow, focused deep breaths by counting up to 4 as you inhale/exhale. The idea is really just to slow down your heartrate and get more oxygen to your brain and body.

At the moment, I’m going through some rough patches after having a mental breakdown. I’m in a recovery phase which sometimes goes like this : I’m speaking to my mother with a completely normal conversation and positive tone. She’ll say something that I didn’t even know was a trigger and boom, my heart starts to race and I get irritated. That’s when I know I need to take many, many deep breaths to slow my heartrate back down. It’s challenging but very doable.

2. Be mindful

If you’ve heard of mindfulness, you’ll think of your senses. If you haven’t, mindfulness is the acceptance of what is, trying to be more aware of what you’re thinking in calm manner. Almost like a meditation to push the irrational thoughts out of your mind. One way to do so is to bring yourself back to the present and use your senses. Literally:

• What are you smelling?
• What can you hear?
• What is it that you can touch or feel against your skin?

The purpose is to bring you back to where you physically are instead of letting your mind wander away with your imagination. I’ve found that it helps quite a bit. Paying attention to the now and things that are around you, without overanalyzing or trying to find some meaning to everything.

If that helps, once you’ve taken the time to breathe and returned to your senses, you may want to explore why you felt that way in the first place. I’d suggest writing it down to work on it later.

3. Expel your emotions

What the heck does that mean?

Emotions are made to be felt – Christelle

Inspired by a John Green quote which says “that’s the thing about pain, it demands to be felt”, I thought it was very suiting. I wanted it to be more positive and so I switched it up a little.

There are different ways of letting your emotions out. Many feel like they can just shove them down deep and never let them out. (Trust me, we’ve all tried that and look at how well that works.. *sarcasm, in case you missed it*) Some peope love to listen to soothing music, read a book, go out for a run, workout at the gym, call up a friend. Just DO something. Sitting down and letting yourself fall into a downward spiral is no-good.

Honestly? My methods are often to play music, or clean. Ahhhh, just thinking about the satisfaction I feel after wiping that layer of dust that has accumulated on the credenza… Yeah, call me a weirdo, I accept it! So while I’m dusting and cleaning away, I have my playlist on of songs that put me in a good mood. I try to keep my favorite songs “away” from situations that would upset me so I’m not reminded of that event when the song starts to play. You wouldn’t want another trigger to happen when you’re finally nearing the end of your anxiety or panic attack lol!

Finally, you’re almost there

By now, I’ve pretty much gone through the motions. I either go on with my day and move towards the next task or activity I’ve set for myself …or I start to cry (haha~!). If it’s the latter, it’s generally because I stopped breathing again. Oxygen and carbon dioxide are such an important part for our body to function properly. When that happens, I let myself go… because emotions are made to be felt. Holding them back will only accumulate inside, and eventually, it’s bound to come out one way or another. Hopefully, never with anger.. unless it’s hanger with food, then… well you know me. I won’t argue with a Reese blizzard to cool me down. 😉

My recommendation to you? Keep breathing steadily. You’ll be alright 🙂